Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Regular

by Sanford Allen

He is the kind of regular no bartender wants. Bitter, belligerent, obnoxious.

He never gets his drink fast enough. It’s never strong enough.

He regularly spackles the bathroom with the contents of his stomach.

He flashes his cash in a vulgar show of status, but he never tips.

After tonight, he won’t be back.

I will smile as he slaps money on the bar, grunting and ogling my breasts.

I will watch him throw back his glass in one gulp. Just like he always does.

I will feign concern as he clutches his throat, gurgling, and drops to the floor.

I will savor the screams as his lips and tongue sizzle away—and lose the bottle before the ambulance and police arrive.

After tonight, he won’t be back.

Sanford Allen is a musician and former newspaper reporter from San Antonio, Texas. He gave up on journalism after he found out it’s more fun to tell lies than to uncover the truth. More than two dozen of his horror and dark fantasy stories have been featured in magazines, web publications and anthologies. His band, Boxcar Satan, recently released its fifth full-length CD. Visit him on the web at


Rachel Green said...

Never has a story wanted me to tend bar before.

Nicely done!

Michael Stone said...

"Never has a story wanted me to tend bar before."

That's a lightly worrying comment, Rachel! :)

Michael Stone said...

Um, I meat slightly, not lightly.

Michael Stone said...

And that supposed to be meant, not meat. Sheesh! What's with me today?

Jodi Lee (Morrighan) said...

Beautiful. Simply beautiful!